Crossroad

Sitting, elbows on the table, my hands holding the weight of my head
My eyes bloodshot, blurred from tears, my memories cut like a knife
A familiar scene, wrapped in mourning and sorrow to which I am wed
Voluntarily I offer myself up to be just one more casualty of life

Beat down by my own hand, filled with burning hatred with no direction
Seeking out someone to blame for my endless pain and desolation
I find myself the target of my own guilt of an uncommitted transgression
Fixed on self loathing I find comfort in the thought of my termination

Is that it, the ultimate act of a self-absorbed coward is to liberate me
And then the thought of what that act would do to others I hold dear
My question, what cost am I willing to exact on those who love me
Will I thrust upon them the endless agony that brings me to sit here

The answer which is easy to say but infinitely harder to impart  
My life will not end by my own hand nor my soul be overtaken
I will find the strength and courage I know dwells in my heart
Those I love will not suffer needlessly nor will they be forsaken

This is my pledge, to myself and all those who have stood by my side
No longer will I look to others for that which I alone can give
My life is my own, only I have the ability and power to turn the tide
No longer will I be the second victim of that day, I choose to live.